How do I know?

How do I know my desire to flee and dismiss discomforts in “church” is my soul’s fighting for truth God prepared eons before I was a glimmer in my parents eye? How do I know I am not dodging the difficult burden of modern Christianity? How do I ask my wife of 8 yrs to consider leaving the church her dad pastors to escape division knowing it will alter our relationship? How do I entertain freedom from the very thing that initiated it in the first place? How do YOU know? Any help?

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@Bookout_jay 💚 I can tell these questions are so heavy. I'm right there with you.
Something William Matthews said in one of his interludes (in his new album called Kosmos) stuck with me: "Doubt is the doorway to faith. Always. Certainty is the idol."
Maybe lean into these feelings of uncertainty and unknowing more. Just sit there. Try to get comfortable. Try to let go of needing that certainty and that "truth". Because what is truth, really? Maybe explore that question a little more.

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