How do I know?
How do I know my desire to flee and dismiss discomforts in “church” is my soul’s fighting for truth God prepared eons before I was a glimmer in my parents eye? How do I know I am not dodging the difficult burden of modern Christianity? How do I ask my wife of 8 yrs to consider leaving the church her dad pastors to escape division knowing it will alter our relationship? How do I entertain freedom from the very thing that initiated it in the first place? How do YOU know? Any help?
@Bookout_jay I don’t know, but sending you 💜
@JennWrite Thanks much!
@Bookout_jay does it help to think of freedom as fluid, as a journey? You won’t end up in the same place you began with freedom. It won’t be easy, and I don’t think it is supposed to be. Love to you and your wife ❤️
You don't. You are stepping out into the unknown, which might be to a new and better life or it might be leaving the comfort of your Father's house like the prodigal son. But if it's the latter, the door won't close.
@Bookout_jay 💚 I can tell these questions are so heavy. I'm right there with you.
Something William Matthews said in one of his interludes (in his new album called Kosmos) stuck with me: "Doubt is the doorway to faith. Always. Certainty is the idol."
Maybe lean into these feelings of uncertainty and unknowing more. Just sit there. Try to get comfortable. Try to let go of needing that certainty and that "truth". Because what is truth, really? Maybe explore that question a little more.
@Bookout_jay I think that, unfortunately, it's far more about the boundaries of relationships than knowledge. Will your wife leave her Father's church for your peace of mind? Mine did...others won't. Can you survive going to different churches? What does church really mean as a social function?
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