“The End” by Gungor is a gut punch.

“Now close your eyes
Just take a breath and be here now
The time has come
Your body must return to all that is
I hope you lived
I hope you lived a life of love and risk
Now welcome home”

I think we typically have much more direct access to our left brain which is more reductionist. I wish I had more direct access to my right brain. I suspect my longing to believe in god is evidence that my right, wholistic, brain already does.

I really need to do shrooms soon...

I think about my mortality daily. Multiple times a day. Anyone else?

I’m 41... I gather that that puts me in a minority demographic here. 😬

I don’t know if I believe in god, but I do long for god.

The god I long for is with us always, suffers and grows with us, loves us unconditionally.

This god exists in the great mystery between the push towards the ideals we strive for and the desire to already be enough in this moment.

Does this god exist ‘out there’? I don’t know. But the concept moves me and feeds me. Maybe that’s enough to be called “belief.”

“I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.”

- Frank Lloyd Wright

Any worldview that prioritizes allegiance to religious doctrine over human well-being needs to be kept away from public policy.

Tell me if this analogy is dumb.

Let’s say I was raised Christian in a predominantly Christian society but no longer except the truth claims of Christianity.

If I were to deny being culturally Christian wouldn’t that be like denying that I have an accent.

Unbreakable is one of my favorite movies. As a fundamentalist, I saw the theme as being: until you live up to your potential [sacrifice enough for the church] you will not be content.

Now, as a post fundamentalist I see it as being about finding your true self; being authentic.

I have no experience with Twitter. I would love to leave Facebook. But what I love about Facebook is the ability to have conversations in forums and threads - with the ease of notifications when someone replies.

So far Mastadon feels like my Facebook feed without the interaction. Just scrolling through a series of unrelated comments being blurred out.

I have a feeling if I did Twitter I would understand what was going on, but for now I’m not really engaged.

I have lost my belief in a man-in-the-sky, Zeus-like god. But I long for god nonetheless.

Over the past few years I have fascinated with alternative definitions of god, and panpsychism has been a very useful theory in quieting my left brain.

This article is very helpful:


“The opposite of faith is not doubt: It is certainty. It is madness. You can tell you have created God in your own image when it turns out that he or she hates all the same people you do.”

Anne Lamott

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