Been deconstructing for over a year. I've been leading a bible study at a Calvinist church and it has been killing me. Finally left this week. I feel so relieved. I feel like I'm free to be me now. Not bashing anyone or that church, it was just a bad environment for me. I know this won't fix everything but damn it feels so liberating. I'll be attending the affirming Methodist church that's down the street from now on I think.
I started going to therapy recently. It's been so so fucking good. Because of it, I wound up discussing the 10 year old event where my brother came out to my parents and he was threatened with physical violence and forced back into the closet. We've never talked about it. Ever. I called him, with a heavy heart and told him that I love him and that his sexuality is beautiful. We cried so hard that night. So many walls were torn down and so much peace was restored. I am thankful for restoration.
My name is Jarett, I've been deconstructing for about two years. It's been insane. It's blown everything apart and made me feel more free than ever before. Some days I believe there is a God or Gods and some days the whole idea of any kind of spirituality sounds ridiculous. The funniest part of this whole thing is that I co-lead a bible study at a very Calvinist church that heavily emphasizes the bible as being the full revelation of god. lol. Love the Liturgists, this is awesome!!
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