Hi Liturgists, I am doubling down on well being in the month of October and would love to share, and receive, some book requests.

Here are mine:

- Why we sleep by Matthew Walker (@mike, this has a great chapter on narcolepsy) This book changed my life!

- The Telomere Effect by Dr Elizabeth Black Burn, good to understand the mechanisms of cellular aging and it has some awesome evidence for meditations effect on the body.

- anything by Brene Brown!

Tell me your list!

Love as Care experiment month 9 update. 

PT 4

So here I am at month 9, eating keto and meditating. Oh, I also wrote a year long budget. Dont know why I never did that before!

But this was all about love. How do I close the loop and end on love. I never know who reads my ramblings but I value your option right now.

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Love as Care experiment month 9 update. 

And what I have found in these ventures of selfcare are mental cobwebs and spiders. All of the aformentioned things seem so simple yets were accompanied by painful and scary times.

The journey was to trust love by feeling care, and in feeling care we sometimes realize the existence of neglect.

A lot came to the surface. It seems like a naive experiment now, but I am all about closing loops.

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Love as Care experiment month 9 update. 

PT 2
Sleep quality is hard to assess when you have no baseline due to constant cafination since childhood. Result... Reduction to 1 or less cups of coffee after 9 AM.

I am a little less than halfway done fixing my teeth and I have only broken 1 in half! Bruised, beaten, broke but not totally broken, awaiting root canal and crown.

I have seen a doctor! I can say with much certainty that I am fairly healthy. Even turning a corner with migraines... I hope.

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Love as Care experiment month 9 update. 

PT 1
Hi Litturgist friends. Many lunar cycles ago I began a quest to understand love more through the lens of care, specifically caring for myself. I thought I would share some updates and observation.

Tracking... I love data... I hate data. I am atroucious at data quality. But before all systems collapsed 4 months in, I learned some interesting things.

It's 1:30 in the AM and a smirk of satisfaction sets in as my 35 year old self feels joyfully rebellious staying up and bingeing Stranger Things.

Tales of a socially awkward extrovert 

So I tried to make a friend today.

Why is it so hard to make friends in your 30's? I don't think it went poorly but I didn't even realize I was trying to make a connection until I was already in the middle of it.

I am charmingly awkward at my best and walked away feeling like I tried a little too hard.

Pero asi es la Vida. Y la vida es maravilloso.

Here's to the beauty of awkwardness!

Defiance and VBS 

So my mother stepped with careful word up to my "we dont talk about my spiritual life" wall and asked me if she could take my 6 year old to VBS at her church. She tried to shine it up and make it seem palatable and not exactly what it is, but I shut it down with a "I'll think about it (mean I will see in frustration) but probably not."

I wish this gulf wasn't there but it is. I just wish they could recognize a tree for its fruit.

Wonder Goggles 

She smiles as she pulls the hood of her hoody off her head and beams as she squeels, "rain! Rain! Rain!"

We jumped in every puddle on the way to the car. The air smelled of rain-soaked honeysuckle.

Wonder.

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Wonder Goggles 

The nature of my spiritual life is and has been in moments of wonder. Even when the bible and I are on a break and the word Christian and I are literally seeing other people, there is still wonder.

A moment from this week.

Long day, too many meeting, fluorescent lights, building migraine...

It's raining and yet again I sent my daughter to school without an umbrella... And coat.

But as my 5 year old runs out into the rain to greet me, all the gloom falls away.

@mike and @vishnu, I know y'all have been working on this, and I'm curious if there are plans to include more working class voices on The Liturgists?

More ennea 8 discoveries 

So now that I know this about myself, what will I do?

Nothing! Absolutely nothing! To attack this Behavior at full force an attempt to master the humbling and unmastery would be to defeat the purpose of the realization.

I am happy to say that I am finding integration in the quiet lack of action.

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More ennea 8 discoveries 

This week I rooted out a habit I have and I have learned to frame it in a way to lead me forward. I have a nearly pathologic need to master tasks or disciplines.

I say near pathological because it is compulsive and comes from a place of utter terror of being unmasked as a fraud and imposter. If I am the master no one will question my competence, education, or reason to be there.

So I made the connection with this behaviour being a disentigration to 5.

How does one become a world tag champion?

Parkour plus friendship!

Ok one Last late night YouTube find!

I think I have found my sport!
My favorite part is how they hug in the end!

youtu.be/rgWBm5ud20Y

Hello liturgist that might be up absurdly late moral supporting your significant other getting in some Days Gone violent game play because small children dominate the daylight media usage.

Youtube is a treasure! So many rabbit holes and, on nights like tonight, so much time. Please enjoy tonight's find!

youtu.be/MGssQReM-Sk

Last non-neurotypy story for the night.

ADHD husband and Dyslexic wife trying to put down the technology and play a table top game...

"Wife, can you read the directions again?"
"No, I don't read. Can you read it to me?"

ADHD husband hyperfocuses on games wiki and reimmerges an hour later to find wife asleep on the rule book page 1...

Maybe we'll play it tomorrow...

Dyslexia, masking and infantilizing 

I have also learned that disclosing doesn't seem to help because most people dont know much about dyslexia.

So here is to sharing about dyslexia!

Did you know that multiple choice tests make me meltdown

and

I am amazing at writing nuanced procedures!

Thanks dyslexia!

Are you non-neurotypical? Tell me about how your brain works?

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Dyslexia, masking and infantilizing 

The shame and stigmata are a real thing. But I think we're in a new era. I love my dyslexia and want to share that and I hate some of the impediments I encounter and I want to talk about that too!

I can't be alone in this but I have found very few conversations about these advantages and challenges. (Besides the dyslexic advantages and proust and the squid).

Alway hiding and compensating... This is what shame has taught me.

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