Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

I've realized I can't reliably separate romantic feelings from platonic ones and I think I'm okay with that. Until now I've been trying to label feelings as one or the other based on society's assumptions of me.

I don't necessarily want a romantic relationship, but I want a deep and committed relationship that is similar in importance to most people's romantic and sexual partnerships.

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@Laura_I There is a term for that feeling WTFromantic

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@forAll52 haha yeah I think it's pretty accurate. I've mostly been calling it gray-romantic though

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@Laura_I whatever fits, both are definitely aro-spec

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@forAll52 yeah it's definitely like wtf, or quoi or huh?

Like I'm opposed to some parts of romance, but I'm not sure if I like any of the parts of it because of the romance you know. Like it's just a nice thing to be close to someone, it doesn't have to be romantic.

But I'm not completely opposed to dating someone, I just wouldn't want to do a lot of romance stuff lol

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@Laura_I There is a serious possibility that I'm aro. I've been less sure of it because I'm not as "ack! no" as I am about sex, but I've also never felt a need and I realize some things about myself would make that really hard to work out

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@Laura_I I'd rather have deep friendships than romance

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@forAll52 Yeah, same, but I also feel like there's definitely something queer in the attraction I feel for people as far as friendships go.

Like I want a romantic relationship but without the romance parts, but maybe some of them idk.

If romance was more clearly delineating from platonic things, I could probably say pretty clearly I'm aro.

It may also be that a romantic relationship is the only visible thing close to what I want

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@forAll52 like our media doesn't give many representations of a life partnership that isn't romantic, and spouses are supposed to be your closest friend

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@Laura_I I don't think I would do "life partnership" if that includes living with someone else. There are so many things about me that are basically impossible to deal with if I were living in the same place as another person

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@forAll52 hmm yeah that makes sense. I think I wouldn't mind living with someone else if we had separate rooms and didn't just spend all of our time together.

But I feel like you can also have a really close relationship even if you don't live together.

I can usually go without seeing someone for a while and be fine, but I know a lot of people don't like that

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@Laura_I Usually my biggest reason I have trouble with that is "I don't know the social rules for how long you are supposed to wait to contact someone, I also don't know how long that other person would want me to wait so I should give them space and wait for them to contact me"

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Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@forAll52 Oh yeah, I just like....don't really contact people.

Like why would I call or text someone if I don't have something to talk to them about??

This is why I need recurring events to go to so I can actually have what they call "friends"

I mean I think someone's my friend if we had a class together once and talked some afterwards

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@Laura_I I get really stuck with smalltalk. This is actually a big reason online spaces have made me less isolated. Jump into "real stuff"

Personal thoughts about relationships, pretty Ace 

@forAll52 Yeah it's nice to have friends I can just find in a certain place (on the fediverse). So I don't have to contact people specifically but can talk to them when they pop up in my feed

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