Things I'd like to say about love:
-Love has far fewer rules than our current societal norms will tell you.
-Love your friends without shame. Platonically, romantically, it's all beautiful.
-If monogamy isn't working for you, there are so many ways to experience love. If it is working for you, great, I don't judge.
-Relationships exist on a spectrum and I don't think there's any real solid divide between "friend" and "lover" that isn't just an arbitrary invention of our culture.
Oh man @mike was in the hospital with a heart condition! He is doing better, but still has work to do. Please do what ever you do - good vibes, prayers, warm fuzzies - he'll take them all.
@Ricci Also, I get your trouble connecting. I have trouble connecting with 8s too. I think it's something to do with past experiences with unhealthy 8-like-folks pushing me to do things in a way that was not "perfect". (Love reading your posts though, BTW.)
@Ricci 1w2 here. Lately, my struggle is that my ideas of what is good/right have changed dramatically and no longer fit perfectly into the cultural narrative. Esp. in my church-based community.
@alexandriahayse It's not a book. But on YouTube, Sesame Studios has a short video series called "Henriyetti" where the main character has a white mom and a black dad.
"One of the things I feel like I’m often trying to do is to debunk the idea that you have to be a full-time activist in order to be doing anything for the world." - adrienne maree brown on her new book Pleasure Activism
possibly poly-phobic question
@robyn @vishnu @mike
I have no first-hand experience, but I've been doing some digging myself. (I'm a "newly" poly parent.)
It seems that it's mostly not a big deal for kids. As long as you keep their exposure to the topic of sex age-appropriate, and their home life stable, they only realize something is different as a teen/young adult.
9)the Sunday years after feeling broken and battered by music when I asked my pastor if could maybe help with worship sometime and he said, "Everyone bailed on me today. Here's a mic."
10)two weeks ago when my friends made the last-minute decision to do a coffee shop open mic. I wasn't perfect, it's nothing to brag about, but I was more myself than any performance before
6)my sense of trust and safety crumbling to dust when a music teacher made a pass at me and said I "owed" him for all the great roles and solos
7)the open mic in college when jazz instrumentalists *asked* me to sing with them
8)the day I truly understood that I was seriously ill because I missed an audition for my dream role.
1)tagging along to Dad's church choir rehearsal as a preschooler
2)recording the Tony's on VHS
3)making up songs in my Jr. High friend's basement that we'd never write down
4)going to music camp and feeling, for perhaps the first time, that I belonged.
5)that magic feeling in choir or band when everyone breathes in unison
My music Prof. friend made a FB post asking for the ten musical experiences that shaped you.
I started remembering belt-notch moments: my first musical, that time I performed for 30,000 people *cough*... But honestly, the moments that "shaped" me are small, and not all good.
My list is in the comments.
@Reina i recently went trough my poetry archive, and I was surprised how many poems mention or deal with guilt or shame. Certainly think that's related to my religious upbringing. Everything good I did, wasn't my doing, but praise God. Everything bad, wasn't Gods fault but mine, and I should pray for forgiveness. Hard to build a healthy selfesteem inside of that.
@jmgallen CBT taught me the concept of "re-framing". I encourage you to look it up, as I'm sure no therapist. But basically, it's the practice of looking at a situation from a new angle. "I slept in too late" becomes "I got the extra rest I needed to kick butt for the rest of the day". Or "I said something dumb" can become "I had the courage to speak up".
Dear kids in Washington State: you can make an appointment with your doctor, or walk into a clinic or ER, and get vaccinated. You don't need permission from your parents. You don't have to wait until you are 18. If the health care provider gets confused, the magic phrase is "Mature Minor Doctrine", and point out that not wanting to catch measles is sign of sufficient maturity.
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