Is there anything more exhausting than trying to convince a Christian (who just learned you are LGBTQ+ affirming) that you yourself are also a Christian. I feel hungover from a conversation last night that started with them asking, "You say you're a Christian, but what kind? Are you a Bible-believing Christian?" I realize now that I'm still operating under the belief that you must always be able to defend your faith to anyone. But must I really? Do I owe that to anyone? #endlessdeconstruction
@Rachael i feel this! I was evangelized to last night in a similar way. It felt super weird!
@EmilyDelikat It felt very weird to be on the other side of the evangelizing. Now I know how it feels, I guess. Demeaning at times, but mostly amusing.
@Rachael I don't think it's the gay part that people have trouble reconciling to Christianity...
@Rachael I can't let it go either... I mean hopefully it is helpful and we are a small part of them starting to think, but honestly it's exhausting.
@liz While it is exhausting, the funny thing is, fighting for LGBTQ+ inclusion feels so much more right than preaching the gospel ever did. I'd even go so far as to say that I actually feel like I'm finally spreading the gospel for the first time in my life.
@Rachael yes, I know there are people in my extended family that don’t see me as a Christian because I’m queer and a liberal. It is exhausting. I’m just like “fuck it, I know where I am, what I believe.” Just because I don’t fit their label is their problem not mine. You don’t owe the explanation of your faith to anyone. You are gracious to spend that time and energy with them.
@JennyBee Great point. I agree it's their problem I don't fit their label. I need to reflect on why it seems to bother me so much. Thanks. <3
@Rachael It bothers me because I care about other people think about me, not in a egotistical way, I just care because it’s nice to be understood and liked and when people don’t get me it’s frustrating. 🤷🏼♀️
@JennyBee Totally. I think there were added layers for me last night. These were older men, so when they don't "get" me, it makes me even more frustrated because it reminds me that my age and my gender will always an obstacle to some people understanding me.
@Rachael Ageism and sexism/genderism is so real. Even in progressive/liberal spaces I still get treated like I don’t know what I’m doing because I’m young/a woman. And I’m like 🤦🏼♀️ Gfdi.
@Rachael you never owe anyone an explanation. You belong to you.
@adamewoods Another friend shared this today too. Great read, something I hadn't thought about but am happy to now contemplate and be aware of.
@Rachael emotional hangovers are REAL, thank you for engaging in that emotional labor
@Rachael you don’t owe anyone anything. Their journey is just different than yours. And yes it is exhausting. It’s exhausting enough for my dumb straight ass! I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. At least save feeling hung over for cheap beer, too much wine, and crappy tequila. Don’t give the Pious Brigade the satisfaction of messing with you!
@roger For clarity's sake, I don't identify as queer. Just an ally doing what I can. Which tonight is drinking cheap beer. 😏
@Rachael cool either way.
@Rachael you absolutely don’t owe anyone a defense of your own faith, but I’ve definitely had conversations where it feels hard to stop arguing about it. I hate the phrase “bible believing,” as if just because you’re liberal/affirming etc your faith must come from outside the bible. Especially since many people are just parroting that phase to begin with, and many Christians don’t even subscribe to the doctrine of sola scriptura.
@scottsummertime It was odd, I was trying to explain the Wesleyan quadrilateral to them and the one looked at me like I had said a curse word and insisted "sola scriptura." I felt like there really wasn't anywhere to go from there. lol
@WolfDreamer @Rachael I had a recent conversation with a relative who was appalled that i “thought the old testament was fiction” despite her not going to church or reading the Bible at all herself. Even when I attempted to explain the different genres and time periods involved in the Bible’s origins she wouldn’t have any of it.
@scottsummertime @WolfDreamer Dang that sounds frustrating. Sounds similar to my recent convo too. The man wanted me to go back and read Lev. 18:22 and he thought that would convince me that my interpretation of scripture was wrong. That somehow just reading the English translation alone would be convincing enough to undo all the exegesis, contemplation, learning and listening I've been doing for YEARS about this OT law. Yah buddy, that will do the trick. 🙄 😂
@Rachael Back when I still considered myself Catholic, I had a Catholic (now former) friend message me on Facebook to tell me that I just "remain silent" on Facebook about support LGBT people. He feared that I was sowing "confusion."
I'm pretty sure I tried to defend my position. These days, I would have just replied: "No."
@Rachael .. and, as others have said, you have no responsibility to defend your Christianity to anyone.
@Rachael I don’t defend my position. I may state it clearly and plainly but I don’t let them debate me. I don’t feel the need to defend myself or my views to them anymore.
It’s not about what’s true, it’s about them being right. In or out. I love @vishnu’s little rant about that concludes with him saying “fuck you, I’m a goat”
@Brandon I dig it. I'm not sure there was much value added past me stating that I'm an LGBTQ+ affirming Christian anyway. Maybe just that is enough, for them to know that yes, these kinds of Christians do exist. We don't all think like you.
@Rachael John 13. They will know you are Christian by your love, not your ability to articulate your faith. No one gets to be Christianity’s gatekeeper.
@Rachael your definition of what it means to be a Christian depends on you, God, and the people you care about. There will always be people who believe certain things are definitive aspects of being a Christian and many of those things are mutually exclusive. That's why we don't all meet in the same communities (we'd just fight all the time). That's ok. I hope you find a church who love you for ALL that you are.
@Rachael i find it oddly empowering to own my heretic status.
@EcKrum Me too! Are you a 4 by any chance?! lol
@Rachael I think im a pretty solid 7 7
@Rachael From my experience, I only cared to convince other christians ‘cause deep inside I felt like they owned the truth, like they owned the whole situation, kinda how we feel around bullies. So I’d waist a lot of energy trying to be smart and eloquent explaining my theological and moral stance to them. Once I could understand that there’s more truth to being loving and inclusive rather than being right, I didn’t need to defend my faith anymore.
@Earthman Thank you for sharing that. That rings true for me. Thank you for helping me understand more of what I'm feeling.
@Rachael you bet, sis! Faith isn’t a competition. More like collaboration.
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