One of the worst parts about de/reconstructing is realizing that I always associated guilt/shame with God talking to me.
Now when I feel super guilty I’m like, is this a spiritual experience? Or just bad theology?

@Reina i recently went trough my poetry archive, and I was surprised how many poems mention or deal with guilt or shame. Certainly think that's related to my religious upbringing. Everything good I did, wasn't my doing, but praise God. Everything bad, wasn't Gods fault but mine, and I should pray for forgiveness. Hard to build a healthy selfesteem inside of that.

@Corina that’s an amazing way to put it. I would say the same about all of the journal entries from my adolescence. I didn’t realize how much my terrible self-esteem was rooted in that bad theology.


@Corina I didn’t realize I already replied to this, haha.

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