It has been my first spiritually fulfilling and observant and contemplative Holy Week, but it has been hard to spend time with family who is on a completely different wavelength.

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All of my past Easter Sundays I have been ecstatic about the risen Christ, on my church worship/planning/set up/greeting/tear down team... for probably the past 10 years?

The first Easter Sunday, in ten years!, that I am not part of the many month long process, beginning to end, of the much anticipated service.

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Instead, I have spent this week contemplating a human Jesus, going to Holy Week Eucharist services alone, & getting my feet washed (literally and figuratively).

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And I’m not even sure that I care much about the literal resurrection of Jesus 🙊

I care much more about his incarnation as a way to illuminate and dismantle the oppressive system of Rome, dying on the cross next to two others (terrorists/freedom fighters) because of the sin of the world.

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It’s wild to think about all that I have learned and unlearned, learning and unlearning.

And what my future self will think about what my current self has “all figured out”.

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This weekend with family who I can find so many faults in, I am trying to stay present and mindful and grateful and loving.

It’s so hard and I’m sending you all who feel the same way so much love.

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@Reina I am definitely stressed out about spending time with family tomorrow. Only a few of my family members are evangelical, that's not the main problem. I just feel like I have changed so much and none of them truly see me. Maybe it is connected to me being a four in the enneagram. Thank you for your words, those are things I am striving for this weekend as well. *hugs*

@Vaashtii I feel you!!! I’m a 4 as well, and at these family gatherings I’ve been trying to be an active participant and stay out of my head as much as possible. It’s not a cure all but it definitely helps. Good luck to you 🧡

@Reina it's weird thinking about all the stuff that I read and thought was correct. Now looking back I wonder how I could be so naive.

@Er3mos right! Just makes me wonder how me in 10 years will feel.

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