Fighting dysthymia and empathy overload just to tread water.

Someone on the Liturgists slack is asking for resource / community recommendations for spouses of folks on the spectrum. Anything I can tell them?

"Im not saying I agree with Autism Speaks approach to finding a cure, but I can understand why some people feel that way because of the way are affected and they want to be cured. Personally, i dont believe there is a cure nor would I want one. But I understand those who do."

So much screaming.

The parent of two autistic children telling me that language about autism is also a spectrum, and all expressions should be included, even if it makes me feel demonized or drives me out of communities.

People talk about love like it's a force which can be experienced, like the wind or the rain. But mostly, love is intention, and inferring intention or connection from action.

Maybe it's the chronic depression, maybe it's the autism, but I mostly have to take people's word for it when they talk about love or feeling loved.

So much of what people want accepted as love is the thing that they think is nice which would make them feel loved.

"Lay it all down" does not, personally, make sense.

Repeating "lay it all down" at different emotional levels doesn't make it any clearer or better, and in fact makes me want to block my ears.

But I am not the target audience.

I wonder how much of the positive mental health content I see assumes a lack of dysthmia / burnout / emotional and intellectual exhaustion. I keep seeing posts that are essentially "you had a bad weekend, but here's how you can fix things", but this has been 30 years of exhaustion and numbness (since I was 13) with occasional bouts of intense, destructive depression.

I want to not be frustrated at every positive thing I see, but they're all assuming a level of health and experience

Just officially told someone on the Liturgists Facebook group to go fuck themselves for the first time. Party?

When your higher mature zen psycho babble white cis male privilege lets you dismiss people past trauma out of hand, you are no longer someone I need to be in community with, even if it results in me losing community.

Things don't necessarily get better.

There may not be anyone that you can talk to who understands and doesn't try to fix your pain.

You may not be suicidal, but can still be trapped and have life really suck.

There is no universal measure of pain; your pain is your pain.

People mean well, but good intentioned ignorance is a universal log in many eyes, and it's totally okay to be completely pissed about the rampant mediocrity of the feel-good support community.

It was extremely irritating watching S2:E15 of Airbender and yelling at the screen because the Guru is explaining detachment incorrectly.

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