I am pretty sure I am an enneagram 1. I know I've been called a perfectionist, in both flattering and unflattering contexts. Here is a thing that is new for me. I am learning how to figure out what I want or want to do instead of what I should want, should do or should want to do. It's a cool ride. For the first time in my life I am learning to feel like it's ok to want things or to choose things primarily because they make me happy. And guess what? I'm happier!

@brandice I deeply relate to this. Even now, after lots of practice, I still feel guilty about doing what I want vs. what I "should". The hilarious thing is it's almost always myself telling me I "should" do this or that because "it'd be best for everyone else"—which, wow. Who the heck am I to say so?

Right?!? What's up with that? I recently discovered how nice it is to ask someone to do something for me, and know that their "yes" is genuine, heartfelt yes, because I know that they are healthy enough to say "no". This is a gift I would love to grow into the ability to offer my people.

@brandice oh man, never thought about that being a one thing but it totally is! I struggle with that all the time - from the media I consume (well it's the best rated so I SHOULD want to watch/play/read this...) to hobbies (is this hobby the BEST use of my time?).

Thanks for putting words to that. I need to let myself do things I *want* more often.

@brandice same! I love to bake but baked goods aren't healthy, so I don't do it much. But when I do, it's like a high, I get so much joy from it.

@brandice Good for you! 1 here as well and totally relate. It's only in recent months that I've begun to apply this simple rule: If I'm thinking of doing something because I "should," I probably shouldn't, lol. But seriously, if "should" is my first instinct, I now immediately question it at the very least. I'm happier, and turns out I'm taking care of myself better as well, who knew?

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