Been deconstructing for over a year. I've been leading a bible study at a Calvinist church and it has been killing me. Finally left this week. I feel so relieved. I feel like I'm free to be me now. Not bashing anyone or that church, it was just a bad environment for me. I know this won't fix everything but damn it feels so liberating. I'll be attending the affirming Methodist church that's down the street from now on I think.