This holiday is definitely the hardest for me and after 6 years free of literalism I still don’t know why I can’t just embrace the mystery... I feel farthest from “the Christ” on Easter. How do you all view the “resurrection,” without cynicism or dismissal, but also without elevating it to a place higher than I personally can believe? I hate that I’m still attached to this story honestly but I’ve tried and with a Christian spouse and kids that love Jesus too I can’t just leave it behind. Help
@emkem I wish I had an easy answer. It’s so painful to want to be in a place and not be there (especially when you feel alone). I found the liturgists “Garden” songs and meditations to be meaningful over the last few years. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=OLAK5uy_meacnMtmpyMpj6uOJ0NZbMOSTTM3cZfSU
@emkem I know that for me, it was important to seek what I could affirm and find valuable, instead of trying to get back to a place I couldn’t get to. That meant moving from seeing Easter as a bedrock of certainty on which I could build the rest of my life, to honoring it as a narrative of hope in the midst of a broken world.
@emkem reading Rachel Held Evans was so helpful for me as I was reminded I was not alone. This post (along with the one she reads on “garden”) was particularly meaningful this time of year. https://www.google.com/amp/s/rachelheldevans.com/blog/how-was-easter%3frq=easter&format=amp
@Arryq ahh yes thank you, friend, will revisit these right now. And seriously, the laugh I enjoyed over your blasphemous Good Friday practice was *just* what my tired heart needed this weekend. Those episcopals have some beautiful but weird traditions don’t they? I always think of the priest with the boner from Disney’s Little Mermaid when I visit. Fellow pervy preteen at heart here.
@emkem the same way that in many romantic relationships, one partner is the flower and the other is the gardener, I take comfort in being part of a congregation where we don’t all have to have the same buy-in. the church I grew up in held a toxic all-or-nuthin’ mentality. Eww. Proven false because I can take a casual baseball fan w/ me (a die-hard fan) to a Phillies game and we can both have a lovely time, in spite of our drastic difference in buy-in
@emkem I don't know how I can help you personally but I can share my experience. I also tend to be a person who is more resistant to accepting any kind of miracles/healing coming from a Christian view, but I am also more willing to accept it from pagan sources. That is just a me thing, I've always been attracted to pagan traditions and have recently been more open to believing in kinds of magical experiences. I also still wanted to find meaning in Jesus' story...
@emkem So I prayed, just a little because I also lost my practice of prayer along the way. But basically asked God/Divine/Universe to give me some understanding the gospel, and then let go of it. I didn't fight with it anymore, I didn't try to listen to theological arguments over to make sense of it myself. I started exploring spiritual practices that were calling me. Those were all just as hooha as resurrection, but for whatever reason they sparked excitement and...
@emkem curiosity in me. It was totally by accident that I started to consider that a physical resurrection might be possible. It wasn't my intention to go back to believing that, I was ready to accept it as a metaphor. But it was from observing how other people connected to the Divine. How other people manifested love. How other people experienced healing. All these people that were supposedly evil and on the crooked path. They got it. They knew the power of ...
@emkem love and forgiveness. And I saw how that was able to do amazing healing things and their bodies. And then during a conversation with my pastor as I was sharing this one woman's story, I thought, of course. If I believe Jesus was the ultimate example of love, then why not believe that the love he held in his body was immense enough to not only heal others but reverse death. No I can't explain what's happening physiologically. It's really about just believing
@emkem it's so funny, because it sounds like I'm just tooting the same old horn. Just believe. But my journey to this took a lot of kicking and screaming, and me refusing to believe anything blindly. So I'm definitely not telling you to just "have faith". It may take a bit more kicking and screaming for you. Or maybe you just need to say screw everything and be cynical until the magic shows up for you personally. Just be patient is all. Patient and open.
@martaparta mmm, wow. Yeah. Thank you for sharing your path and perspective. I feel less alone tonight. More openness, less striving; more just... showing up tomorrow. For my spouse, for my kids. “Showing up,” like Rachel Held Evans said. Honestly I feel like I’ll be showing up tomorrow (Easter Sunday) more for her sake than anyone or anything else.
@emkem I’ve tried to shift my focus from “what should this say to me?” to “what does this say to me?” Right now the usual themes of eternal life, bodily resurrection, and defeat of death/sin are not to compelling. I am gravitating toward resurrection as metaphors for new life from what was dead and living in a way that brings life to others. A counselor once warned me about “shoulding” on myself. I am where I am in my spirituality and saying I “should” be somewhere else is not all that helpful.
@Beaty oh wow. This is a helpful perspective, thank you
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