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panic attacks 

Alright everyone, here's a big question, but if anyone has a helpful answer, it'll be you guys.
I've recognized as a thing that is happening for a while, and it scared me, but I put off dealing with just how serious it is for a while, basically until science mike's episode about the IPCC report. Now, I'm trying very hard to deal with it, but all I can seem to feel is panic.

Can I have some universe juice for this job interview today
capitalism is a failed hellscape system but I need this coin

climate change 

for example, I read this one yesterday that now upon further reflection kind of insinuated that humanity is going to go extinct after the power goes down and we can't get running water in our sinks, like YES, I'm scared of that and not looking forward to that very real possibility and I'm sure it will lead to instability in our social system. however... lots of people... have to live without that stuff...? and we have for most of history? we can... re-adapt... am I crazy for this?

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climate change 

this may be a hot take and I am open to critique, BUT, do you ever think about how like most of the articles and stuff we read about climate change, esp the doomsday stuff, is written by well-to-do white people? would it be an accurate critique to say that what a lot of them are really afraid of is having to live like poor people? I'm not saying I'm not scared too cuz I CERTAINLY am, but (cont'd)

climate change - a solution mostly in jest but also... unless?? 

ok SO here's my solution for climate change: we build communities where we go back to like little house on the prairie type living except this time, NO slaves whatsoever, no subjugation of women, and people can be gay. suggestions welcome

Often, after years of training my brain to be straight, I have to remind myself that I:
-am attracted to women
-identify as bisexual
-am welcome in the queer community, no matter how long I tried to deny myself of that joy

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practice peace:
remembering hope, keep truth
seek Spirit, savor presence;
know needs, tend the whole self;
give care, serve, share, and
let heartsoul shine

for this world needs
the light
of y/our love.

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The pope as you know it is a social construct kept alive by mass media through a solid narrative and a well paid actor. The real pope resides in a little dark room in Paris underground, under the french parliament. There he plays Mahjong and smokes weed with Gheddafi and Emmanuel Macron until the end of civilization. The one who wins the game gets a pretzel and supreme leadership on half the population of a future world in ashes.

mental health 

i kinda want to start taking anti anxieties or something but at the same time, the reason I need those isn't because I think something is wrong with my brain - it's bc my brain DOES work and the world is, y'know, bad

Americans get out of the carceral mindset 2k19

child abuse, mental health 

I kept trying to wake him up and tell him I was there and it wasn't real but it didn't help. he was lost in his terror.

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child abuse, mental health 

my bf almost never sleeps peacefully, and often experiences night terrors bc of his childhood abuse. He says when I'm not there he often wakes up screaming, which I've never heard, but last night broke my heart. He was restless all night. he kept pushing me away, but I know it wasn't ME he was pushing away, but who he was trying to escape from in his dream... he didn't sound like my bf, but his child self, just whimpering all night. he breaks my heart.
:(

are we happy today, friends?
if not, why? if so, why?
I am happy today because I had a job interview with an exciting company that went really well!

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The Parable of the Good Guatemalan (Luke 10:25-37)

On one occasion a seminary professor stood up to test Jesus. 'Teacher,' he asked, 'what must I do to inherit eternal life?'
'What is written in the Bible?' he replied. 'How do you read it?'
He answered, ' 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind;' and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.''
'You have answered correctly,' Jesus replied. 'Do this and you will live.' 1/

he's releasing a new book soon called "to hell with the hustle." I read the first chapter - its really just about how capitalism is exhausting, although he calls it "hustle culture" and his solution is to "reconnect with Jesus." So close, jeff. SO CLOSE. you're right - capitalism is EXHAUSTING and causing wearing down both us and the planet! so let's name that and fix it :)

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god he's SO close. In fact, he came to speak at my conservative Christian college back in 2014 and his religion vs. jesus talk was super important in kicking off my own deconstruction. I've followed him loosely since. Sometimes I think he leans more out of evangelicalism than he lets on so he can reach more people, which, fair

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-patiently waits for Jefferson Bethke to deconstruct and become radicalized-

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A fun activity you can do at any time is to just be quiet

anyway! This is just me as a grey-aro kind of person trying to adjust to being in a committed relationship, which I am happy in and enjoy, but just didn't necessarily envision for myself lol

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