What's most challenging about being a 1?
Any #enneagram1 s found strategies for curbing the perfectionism/do-more-do-better drive, while also releasing self from the guilt/constant critic nagging at you that you're not doing what you should be?
I can force myself to take a night off, for example, but it always includes the phantom "shoulds" hanging around....
Is this the invisible, endless, mental labor of wife-and-mother-hood? Is this a 1 thing? Both?
@laurel_ann always feeling like things can and should be better than they are... never fully satisfied
@laurel_ann the internal critic. I have a real hard time shaking the looming feeling of failure.
@laurel_ann I find it helpful to embrace my 7 side and live in the moment, and be content with here and now. Also I have a strong 9 wing so it can help to view myself the way I would view someone else, i.e. overlooking flaws, giving the benefit of the doubt.
@laurel_ann and I guess the "trick" I like to use alongside that sort of thing is to make "rules" out of these principles, since lists and "rules" are the mental structures that feel natural to me as a 1. e.g. I know "everyone makes mistakes" and then hijack my inner critic for good to enforce that same hard principle with myself... I don't know, it seems to work pretty well for my brain at least :)
@laurel_ann also I definitely think part of the "feeling like I should be doing something" is just part of being a parent :)
@laurel_ann I think it's a lifelong battle, but if we create new habits, we can quiet the inner critic and it gets easier over time. At the same time integration for 1s means letting go as opposed to working hard, because spontaneity and chilling out don't happen if we're controlling the circumstances. 😁
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