Length, thanking Mike 

Yesterday was my 1 year autistic-anniversary, which isn’t an actual thing, but I’m making it one :autism:

One year of learning and of riding the waves of the joy and the grief of adult diagnosis. So many moments of pure elation as something finally made sense and so many moments of pure terror when something else made even less sense.

I’m here now, in good company.

Listening to @mike on the Unspoken podcast and y’all: take a listen. (And Mike: I am the most broken record but wow do I echo what you’re sharing in so many ways)

(Also that should say *deepening* sorry y’all)

A small update: taking courageous steps everyday. Signed up for studio hours at a ceramics studio and I feel like I got a massive part of myself back. I’m nearing finals and being able to see my checklist go down is a relief. I stopped going to therapy and it’s been massively helpful (it’s okay to listen to your body when it says it needs to take breaks; do consult with your therapist about this). Depending relationships. Breathing. Slowly, but surely, crawling out of the hole of despair.

Deleted a bunch of posts regarding things that I need to have better boundaries talking about online. Thank you for the continued support, all.

Spending some much needed time with my tablet tonight and drew up this little thing. Thinking a lot about kindness lately, and being on the receiving end of it and not knowing what to do (all the while being incredibly grateful).

Image description: digital artwork with cursive lettering that fits within a circle which reads “it is marvelous to be shattered by kindness” - Tennessee Williams

Madison boosted

I “came out” on IG (on my story) as autistic yesterday for a number of reasons I won’t go into, but 200 of my 1100 friends+followers now know, which I feel okay about? I think??? It’s been a whirlwind couple of weeks and I’m still very much trying to sort through it all.

Essentially, thank you to you all being a secure base to come back to :autism:

Madison boosted

It’s ALL right there in front of my eyes. I am there right in front of my eyes. I am the looking, looking at my Self. Will you dare to allow yourself to be loved?

Madison boosted

You are not what you have.
You are not what you do.
You are not what others think of you. (Henri Nouwen)

Madison boosted

Autism (+) 

Autism (+) 

Autism (+) 

Autism (+) 

Autism and “coming aut” 

Madison boosted

My internal mantra while meditating this morning:

(inhale): I am
(exhale): Here

(in): Here is
(ex): All

(in): All is
(ex): Love

...and repeat :)

A random question: has anyone done brain mapping or neurofeedback?

@mike I’m only 30 minutes into the fear episode but it’s hitting deep in needed places. More than I can explain right now, thank you for sharing.

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