SO: thank you for your responses the other day (and the continued support from the autistic folks on here) about your experiences telling people about you being autistic.
It helped me not feel so alone and much more courageous, knowing I had a safe homebase of y’all to come back to if it blew up in my face.
Instead, it created new safeness and openness with a professor I have a close relationship to scholastically and personally as well and I am SO GRATEFUL for that.
I could go on and on, but it was a truly healing interaction and one that gave me a lot of hope going forward facing school and otherwise.
I emailed him thanking him and he said he was honored and pleased that I felt safe to share with him and that he’s happy to welcome me exactly as I am. He said he’d encourage me to let the others on the research team know as well, which I’m debating, but as time goes on, I think would be a really helpful and healthy thing to do as well.
1/3 An update:
After research lab meeting I asked my prof if I could chat with him for a bit and I officially came “aut” as autistic to him and it went THE BEST it probably could have! I even got super overwhelmed and asked if I could sit with it for a moment, then realized I was really fearful to stim in front of him, so I asked (knowing he would say yes) if I could rock and he warmly said, “oh course!” Even just feeling safe enough to ask those two questions is a MAJOR thing for me.
Autism and “coming aut”
So. To those who are open about their autism: what contexts are you open about it (with certain people? Groups? Teachers? Bosses? Etc?) and have you found being open about it helpful or harmful? The masking feels like it’s killing me lately and I’ve been debating a lot whether or not to let my research team know/at least my research professor about it because I’m drowning.
@mike I’m only 30 minutes into the fear episode but it’s hitting deep in needed places. More than I can explain right now, thank you for sharing.
I’m looking into clinical psyc PhD programs (I could technically apply the end of this year 😳) and I’m finding out they’re more competitive (in regards to percentage admitted versus applied) than both law school and med school and I’m just over here feeling INCREDIBLY unqualified and like the possibility of ever being admitted is getting smaller and smaller. Most programs admit 4-10 students a year. This is so incredibly daunting!
(Those are happy tears by the way) 💛
Had to share 💛
I emailed my favorite prof about being on his research team and he emailed back with an emphatic YES which was amazing enough BUT THEN:
I met with the other research assistants and him, and and he explained that he doesn’t recruit, but waits for students to come to him. With that, he said that every quarter he has a student or two that he hopes so strongly will ask him. Then he said I was that student 😭
Being so warmly regarded and seen as valuable is so powerful. Wow wow wow.
PSA toot: do not give up on this platform because you are afraid you aren’t deep enough, or have the right book to recommend, or scientific theory to cite. You are welcome here. Playfulness, encouragement, and sharing joy - is welcome here. #TheLiturgists
My full self was my full self at therapy today, meaning we brought autism into the space and explored what it meant to me.
It was the most liberating hour of my life. I was stimming the entire time, hardly made eye contact, laughed so much, talked SO much (😂), and felt so allowed to be myself and to start to see that as good and not only to see me as “passing” as good.
It was as if she (the therapist) said, “hey I see this too (“this” being how autism impacts my entire life), and it’s okay.”
Believing in better things.
This is an instance for folks who follow The Liturgists Podcast, The Alien & The Robot, and other things The Liturgists create.