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Advice for breaking up with church 

I think I need to break up with the PCA church I've attended weekly for 7 years. My views are radically different than when I became a member, and I don't feel like I can be honest there.

Here's the thing, my deconstruction happened under the radar and I've never outed myself, so as far as they know, everything is fine.

I've been putting this off for weeks because I don't know what to tell them, but pretty soon they'll notice I've stopped coming.

Any advice?

Advice for breaking up with church 

@ninjanichols my immediate gut reaction is that by your asking this question, you are connected there, you care for them and they care for you. That means they already know. Most likely they won’t be surprised.

Boldly be you.

Advice for breaking up with church 

@ninjanichols It has been helpful to me to get away from concepts of "right and wrong" or "orthodoxy and heresy." Instead, I try to think in terms of "healthy and unhealthy."

So in your situation, I might say, "This is not the healthiest place for me to be in this season of my life - I appreciate your prayers."

You aren't getting into the whole "right / wrong", "good / evil" thing.

Advice for breaking up with church 

@brothermatthew
Thanks, I like reframing it like this.

Advice for breaking up with church 

@ninjanichols
This can be a hard thing! Perhaps your experiences sharing your deconstruction have gone well like mine. However, I found it emotionally healthy to move on. When the Rector at my new Episcopalian church talks of opening wide the arms of Christianity, it actually means something. At my old church, I would probably find it an offensive statement from the pulpit.

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