Pinned toot

“Transitioning is like birth. It’s natural. It’s not something that has to be pathologized.” - my psychiatrist is the fucking bomb.

Hannah boosted

jealousy of trans women, appearances, transition & beauty 

Not subtooting anyone! Just realizations.

One of the things that's hurt me and made me resentful in my transition is, I wanted an experience that some trans girls report, of shedding a false skin and becoming a more beautiful self. Allowing a more exciting, magical me to be finally born.

It angers me that, socially, trans guys are denied this narrative most of the time. In subtle and also pointed ways.

The skin we "rip off" is already that of a girl, so we begin in a place of feeling guilted (overtly!) for "destroying beauty". Whether we're guilted from a sexist place of "but you're so pretty!" or a feminist place of "why wouldn't you want to be a girl, girls are so great!", it still can be like a harpoon in a trans guy's heart.

1/?

trans; daycare; frustration 

I know they are still processing this information. And, how they respond is not set in stone.

I have such limited interaction at this daycare.

I just don’t want them to take my two minutes of existence in their space out on him.

Show thread

trans; daycare; frustration 

My child is a bit of a favorite. He’s shy and relational and very emotionally empathetic.

His teachers have consistently gone out of the way to pull him out of his shell and he’s opened up with a lot of them.

I’m so scared they’re going to become colder and more distant. My wife has already picked up on some attitude changes with her.

My son could internalize so much without me even knowing.

Show thread

trans; daycare; frustration 

I came out at my son’s daycare. Apparently, father’s day complicated things and my son’s teachers were redirecting him to call me daddy instead of our chosen pet name.

The conversation initially went well.

The same afternoon, they took my wife aside to hope that we were comfortable there but also to warn us that there were definitely some religious people who worked there.

Hannah boosted

Had one of those rare days when I feel legitimately gorgeous :)
Boosts appreciated

So, I’m really scared I’m going to be changing my name every few months since I’m feeling this out.

But, I’m going by Hannah now. I guess I can’t change my user name, lol. That’s okay. Robyn came from a character in One Piece that I deeply identify with.

Now, if only she was $200 an hr with no hope of insurance. Even half an hr, once a month keeps me sailing.

Show thread

“Transitioning is like birth. It’s natural. It’s not something that has to be pathologized.” - my psychiatrist is the fucking bomb.

I love looking at plus-size models (think torrid). Yet when I go to torrid, I can fit size double 00. I’m 6 ft plus and aside from moderately broad shoulders basically have a model-like frame.

Why do pictures of plus-size models look gorgeous in a way that feels as though it includes me whereas the mainstream models and photo shoots feel so exclusive?

Does anyone else feel like this?

@nova just wanted to tell you very happy your boosts of peoples selfies makes me. These brighten my soul.

Dying phone ... in case I suddenly start dropping convos

Endgame/religion 

So, I was going to write a Facebook screed about how much I hate Endgame and it’s references to substitutionary propitiation and this constant drum beat of sacrificing your life for the greater good (more often colonialism and corporatism than not), - and how this idea of self-sacrifice has destroyed lives throughout history ...

But, then I opened my computer to some cute shoes.

Gahhh ... they’re so cute!!!

Hannah boosted

Mother’s Day 

I have been thinking a lot today about the invisibility of trans women on Mother’s Day.

Trans women with kids don’t seem to be recognized as “mothers” nearly enough. We may not have birthed children, but I promise you that there is so much more to motherhood than that.

I want to take a moment to offer the title of “mother” to all the other trans women raising kids. It’s yours if you want it.

And that’s before we even get into all the other women mentoring younger trans girls...

sexuality/suicide ideation 

So, here’s my question? Is that like normal fucked-up fundamentalist childhood or is that a queer-specific thing?

Show thread

sexuality/suicide ideation 

Ok. So this is probably TMI. When I was young, probably 12, I learned how to masturbate. Believing my actions to be a sin plus an inherited deep belief in the age of accountability led to significant suicide ideation. Wow, I probably spent most of that next decade hoping to die for some reason or another.

Hannah boosted

Providing Housing (personal advert) 

Gonna try this one more time and then I'll stop bugging everybody.

I have a free bedroom and I'm looking for someone to fill the space. We live in the American Great Lakes/Rust Belt Region. The location is urban and within cycling distance of lgbt services/clinics.

Rent is ~$200/person. Willing to help out a bit if you're in a bad situation. Doing this on mastodon because I like the people and culture here.

DM me for more info, thanks!

My body is leading the way on this journey of self-discovery and I’d love to understand it a bit better.

Show thread

There’s this scene in Scripture where a pregnant woman receives certain news or meets someone special, and her child is described as having leapt for joy.

That’s what being affirmed feels like. Some part of you over which you have no control leaps for joy.

As a queer person, embodiment feels like the practice of listening to those leaps. Is there any research or theories out there about the intersection of embodiment and queer identity?

There are 5 people (outside immediate family) that I would come out to personally. Between now and September/October, I plan to hit all five.

Today is person #1. Wish me luck.

Show more
The Liturgists

This is an instance for folks who follow The Liturgists Podcast, The Alien Podcast, and other things The Liturgists create.