@Dittbenner_Noel are you familiar with liberation theology at all? That might be a helpful place to start if not! I'm so drawn to the framing of Christ as the suffering God who is always in solidarity with the oppressed. Rob Bell also does a great job of covering the "power" of God in the RobCast Jesus H. Christ series (the hammers and smells episode)
@mike would love to know where to purchase copies of your book, that funnel the greatest share of earnings to you? 😊
Wondering about folks experience with pre-marriage counseling outside of a church? (My partner and I are both in a process of deconstruction and aren't rooted with a particular church atm)
Thoughts about the worthwhileness of pre-marriage counseling? How to find a good one, or other alternative helpful resources?
@Ricci I hear you. What a complex time that must have been! Grateful to hear others embraced the fun with you!
Thanks again for sharing your stories and reflections, they've been tremendously helpful!
@Ricci Was it challenging for your community to understand and support you in that? I'm a little nervous others won't know what to do in such an unfamiliar space aha!
I also hope it isnt taken as a message of demonizing traditions others find meaningful, they just arent for us!
@Ricci I love this! It sounds like you enjoyed a beautiful celebration 😊😊😊 Hearing from you is giving me so much inspiration, and it's quite encouraging to hear others who have moved away from some traditions and still found meaningful ways to commemorate and celebrate!
@Ricci Gotchya! I think we may be going with just wedding bands also 😊
The idea of engagement for us sits a little funny as well, we have already decided and committed to marriage- so the formality of engagement definitely seems more for our community I guess! And a way to symbolize the decision tangibly for us as well.
@Ricci that's a really beautiful idea, I'll definitely do some asking around!
Mmm flowers grown by a loved one sounds lovely- so many aspects I didn't realize before that could be modified in ways I feel good about!!
I'm really grateful to hear from your experience! I dont have many friends irl that understand why I dont want a totally traditional engagement/wedding, so it feels really fun and encouraging to hear from you!
@Ricci I'm definitely struggling with engagement norms... my relationship has been founded on mutuality and partnership, so it doesnt feel very reflective for him to propose- I love the idea of us both asking each other! I find "the initiator" & "responder" a dynamic that doesn't fit for us.
So many norms that are wildly expensive aha. But I do crave ritual and ceremony, just without the unecessary spending/consumption and strict gender roles.
@Rosemisery the relationship itself definitely already is, I'm curious particularly about how others have thought about/have found ways to move away from engagement & wedding traditions that contribute to restrictive gender norms and spending expectations, and instead what sort of creative alternatives there might be that center more on celebrating an equal coming together in partnership before community!
I'm curious to hear from others who have given thought to what a "deconstructed" engagement or wedding might look like?
I'm disinterested in practices rooted in patriarchy and capitalism, but am drawn to elements of ceremony and ritual to mark significant events and transformation. Would love your stories or thoughts- on the conceptual or practical details!
@Aubrianne I think for me, I've formulated self-care as a mode of resistance to the commodification of my body and labor. What would it mean to do something just because it's fun, or silly, or relaxing, or feels good? What would it mean if I didn't have to spend my time being productive or profitable? What if I equally valued things that made me feel peace as I do things that make me feel useful or like I've contributed? I see healthy self-care with boundaries as reclaiming my body as a being.
Making home in the liminal & seeking out shalom. 2w3.
Amateur gardener, podcast enthusiast & overly caffeinated.
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