Silent Silas @[email protected]

"Tell me when the end is nigh;
I'll sober up and come down in time."

- Zac Little off of his song "Pillar of Na"

PDA

If you don't mind, please keep your love away.
For my heart breaks from this public display.
You see, mine believes its love is lacking
So yours reminds mine of its walls cracking.

But if you do mind, that is just as well;
An out-of-reach heaven prepares you for hell
Where you're better off carving your disdain
Until there's only joy for another's gain.

You had my back,
But maybe you were only
Fulfilling a maintenance request.

'Cuz a wall was built.
It does its job, and you've done yours,
So now the carpenter must have left.

You are a social psychosis
Which we invent in our times of need.

A necessary neurosis
To cope with the imperfect lives we lead.

Even now,
As I shiver while the air thins and grows colder,
I swear,
I can feel your hand now resting on my shoulder.

(2/2)

Where did you go?

I was told to follow, and so I followed,
But now it seems that I'm all alone.

Our footsteps have been washed away.
Leaving me without proof, or a path back home.

I looked away for just one moment,
Which is all it took for you to disappear.

Were you just an imaginary friend
Whom I outgrew over the years?

(1/2)

If there isn't another season of The Rising of the Shield Hero, I will be getting my own rage shield on.

So my town basically has only one ISP. And everything is down for a scheduled maintenance. That's understandable, but it proves how badly we'll need a decentralized internet.

Like, our ISP is pretty amazing and affordable. People can technically also choose Comcast/Xfinity, but there's absolutely no reason to, as their service pales in comparison.

And so for an hour, pretty much all services have grinded to a halt as they sit and wait for our centralized service to boot back up.

This one was heavily inspired by mewithoutYou's Torches Together.
---
Men are meant to move
Lest we wither and rot away
As we wade out in the ocean
In need of a crescent wave.

If you refuse to be moved,
You will sink like a stone.
But if you catch a wave,
You'll see you're not alone.

For we are all mostly water,
Each cell gasping for fresh air.
So why not splash into a wave?
We are waiting for you there.

I'm getting married in Dragon Quest V, and it's so Liturgical.

"Will [you love and cherish her], in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall be resurrected from death in the church?"

I had some time before the open mic started this evening. A fellow poet commented on how they wished nature wouldn't be put on a pedestal in poetry, but instead follow the satirical-yet-almost-literal footsteps of Pablo Neruda's poems (and they sound great in English as well, so check out his Ode to a Tomato to get what I mean)

It's nothing close to any of Neruda's works of art, but I think it does a good job of expressing my fellow poet's frustration.

Made this for my pops today.

"Find a friend and stay close, and with a melting heart tell them whatever you're most ashamed of- Our parents have made so many mistakes, but may we forgive them and forgive ourselves." - Aaron Weiss

I found two lines I wrote ages ago and turned it into two stanzas. It still holds true to this day, though I can only see them once or twice a year now.
---
I'm not too good with faces,
But I've faced you for so long.
I know when your hair changes
And how much makeup you've got on.

When we're under too much pressure,
We protect each other from harm
For our bond will never sever
As we weather each other's storm.

Welp, accidentally taking the Express line is an excellent opportunity to practice mindfulness.

It is proven! I am prophesi on Keybase: https://keybase.io/prophesi/sigchain#8d8db8f978005b0fc1a6dedcaa879333b47f2fbdf245d35a779bf3e48efd37120f

The First of Signs
---
O, mother Mary,
Is your heart full of regret?

You let him know
The wine's run out,
But his time's not come just yet.

Or, mother Mary,
Is your heart now full of joy?

"He let me know
What will be done,
So servants, obey my boy."

I'm halfway through Lost Connections by Johann Hari. Which means all of the chapters about the causes of anxiety/depression. For the interested, here are my tl;dr's for them, though the whole book is worth it for the references, explanations, stories, etc that help let it all sink in. I also swear a good bit in this because it got me emotionally frustrated at modern society :/

https://bin.silentsilas.com/?fde09f9f1476736e#n4rTqYYVwMCNvbZLkSZkqyOCZcQuDKSYDzgOl89axiQ=

@maz thank you for posting about this book.

It's 2:30am here and I finished creating this absolute atrocity. https://smash.silentsilas.com/

To meet people IRL who use Mastodon, too.

Probably the main impetus for me to move to the city is so that I can make friends with people who would actually use cool technology like this with me: https://peergos.org/

My initial response is the stoic, "Why should you care if you get trampled on?" and I think there's a lot of truth to that. But I also think it's missing the fact that the forgiver is also an error-prone human, and so we have to constantly tackle what true forgiveness looks like in practice.

So I was talking to a friend about how much a certain mewithoutYou line impacted me (Bullet To Binary Pt. 2: "So why not 'Let's forgive everyone, everywhere, everything, all the time?'")

But how does one engage in such radical forgiveness? I truly believe it's how the cycle of hate is broken. But in practice, you'll be trampled on as your kindness is abused. And maybe such kindness does more harm than good for both parties involved?