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christianity & forgiveness 

So I was talking to a friend about how much a certain mewithoutYou line impacted me (Bullet To Binary Pt. 2: "So why not 'Let's forgive everyone, everywhere, everything, all the time?'")

But how does one engage in such radical forgiveness? I truly believe it's how the cycle of hate is broken. But in practice, you'll be trampled on as your kindness is abused. And maybe such kindness does more harm than good for both parties involved?

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(A creative space for those in deconstruction.)

A Glorious Undoing is a space for healing, belonging, and creativity. The purpose of this work is to inspire and enliven those experiencing some form of deconstruction — that they might know they are not alone, and in that knowing, experience the profound glory of their undoing.

Love poem 

You ruffle my feathers
Now and then,
But let's brush that aside.

For I love you
Now and then
And between each long goodbye.

I wish you were here!
And hereafter.
You taunt me in dreams
With your laughter.

And, when I fell on one knee,
You asked, "What's the matter?"

"My unrequited heart can't hear
Yours pitter-patter."

My main reason for purchasing CD's is because it's usually the only way I can get music in a higher quality than Amazon/iTune's 256kbs.

I also think it would benefit society to stop using shuffle and making playlists, and instead listen to these beautiful artist-curated playlists called "albums."

friendships / swearing 

Welp, my date canceled on watching an obscure anime movie in theaters with me.

Is it just me, or is everyone just too damn busy to be/make friends? Long work hours + one or two weekly obligations is already enough to put you at your limit.

Scary sleep paralysis 

I calmed myself down until the hallucinations subsided and I could finally move my limbs.

I'd gladly take an acid trip over all of that.

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Scary sleep paralysis 

When my sleep schedule's messed up, I get sleep paralysis. So this morning, I experienced an insanely intense one.

As I was dozing off, I felt that familiar buzzing in the back of my head. I closed my eyes, and immediately dreamt I was standing on my bed. Except, disembodied.

Out of fear, I tried to open my eyes. But each time they opened, I saw a different rendition of my room.

Eventually I did truly wake up. But with figures dancing along my walls, and my body frozen.

My goals for today:
- Write up my first ever resumé
- Start the App Store process for Pr1vy
- Don't drink too much coffee
- Don't think too many existential thoughts

Prompt: You're Stan, in charge of Heck. 

Curséd are the souls
Of those who skip in line.

Curséd if you borrow my pencil
And refuse to return what's mine.

Doomed are the devils
Who dare to turn without a signal.

Doomed if you start a fire
And leave the embers to all kindle.

Lost are all the bullies
Who hurt kids who have no place.

Lost if you don't tell the truth
Simply to save one's face.

Shame for the citizens
Who shout a foul word.

Shame if you let your cats
Eat all of nature's birds.

Great song about clinical depression 

I stumbled upon this band not too long ago, and their song "Full Circle" just seems like a beautiful depiction of what depression feels like.

The rest of the songs on that album are equally introspective and heart-felt (though sometimes a bit too self-deprecating, which I suppose is to be assumed).

Man. I first stumbled upon The Liturgists a few months ago. I loved every episode with Rachel Held Evans, and found out that she used to live in my city. I thought for certain that our paths would cross one day, and I could tell her how much her books meant to me.

As @mike explains in Christian Celebrity, I've probably mistaken this para-social relationship as a personal one. If I can feel such pain, I can only imagine her family's. A brightness has left our world.

I'm not sure if I just hit the lowest point in my life, or the highest point. To forego an expensive rideshare this morning, I'm walking to a Taco Bell a few miles (90 minutes) away to cross back into my state line, to afterwards catch the nearest bus.

Like, that Taco Bell is _the_ major factor in this decision.

"Being still with yourself can give access to all sorts of ideas and musings that wouldn’t otherwise occur. So perhaps in our quest to end boredom our creativity is being stunted, and we’re actually becoming more boring."

- Susan J. Matt, co-author of "Bored, Lonely, Angry, Stupid" in her interview with Vox.

I visited a bookstore with a friend last week, and she handed me Alan Paton's "Cry, the Beloved Country."

And I am now in tears. It is so carefully and elegantly written. Each page overflows with the respect and compassion we all so desperately long for and require, whether we know it or not.

For those who practice meditation, what do you say to those whom are afraid/skeptical of "clearing their mind?"

I had a short conversation with someone on the subway about it, and they mentioned such skepticism.

My only rebuttal is the conclusive evidence of its health benefits.

I know there are other types of meditation whereby you purposefully think/visualize stuff, but I personally only adhere to clearing the mind while feeling the sensations of the breath.

I had my bank account drained with fraudulent charges two days before the end of my NYC vacation. (it's all been resolved now, before you also needlessly worry)

I suppose I'm not as Stoic/Buddhist as I thought. Cold words and cold weather began to cut in so much deeper.


Fear of the unforeseen arose,
Which I thought I vanquished long ago.
Alas, I found my faith in illusion:
A financial foundation to cope with confusion.

Needed a break from Christianese, so I wrote a poem about a small aspect of city life 

You peered into my presence
Without my permission.
I happened to take notice,
Which gives form to superstition.

Now my thoughts follow laws
That only I can enforce;
If you continue to trespass,
I'll steer you back on course.

Recent post from @vishnu & @mike re. Rachel Held Evans - continue to lift her up in prayer, if you are able:

a Good Friday poem 

The priests cried, "Prophesy!"
After Jesus confessed his plan.
"Who gave this man the right
To sit at God’s right hand?"

The crowd cried, "Crucify!"
After Pilate met the King of Jews.
"What has this man done
To deserve such abuse?"

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The Liturgists

This is an instance for folks who follow The Liturgists Podcast, The Alien & The Robot, and other things The Liturgists create.