Deconstruction is like making popcorn by hand.
Usually, life is fine, but we don't notice things heating up until - *pop* - some part of our world suddenly transforms. At first it may be interesting, until more areas start popping and then... OMG! The popping is out of control! It's terrifying, but by now it can't be stopped so we surrender to beautiful chaos. Eventually, as things calm down again, we realize that we've changed. And so, we grab some butter and share ourselves with new friends.
#introduction I grew up Canadian Evangelical, studied numerous "ologies" and am currently in transition from a period of major spiritual & emotional trauma. These, coinciding with a midlife deconstruction journey, has led to a season of radical worldview adjustment. Lately, I'm finding lots of resonance within the Christian Contemplative tradition, but with a healthy dose of Taoism, skepticism and good 'ol fashioned science. Things are looking up.
[Canadian] Thanksgiving Monday. Earlier, my fiance and I cuddled on the couch after a late Thanksgiving dinner with family, etc. We were tired.
HER (softly): Do you want a coffee this morning?
ME (sleepy): Yeah. With whipped cream. And chocolate. And ice cream. And... sparkles?
HER (smiling): Why don't you just kiss a unicorn instead?
Tiredness = Over. The image of an actual unicorn kiss had us both giggling.
Okay, honest question.
I just got engaged and am headed for a second marriage.
Those of you who have walked this road, how you have you handled the practical stuff (e.g. photos and things) that remain meaningful from your first marriage? Did you keep them? Did you toss them?
I'm not usually the sentimental type, so I ask b/c I'm working through the data on my server and am wrestling with what to keep as part of the family archive.
People no longer trust each other. Why? And how can we fix it? An interactive guide to the game theory of trust: http://ncase.me/trust/
Deconstruction Reflection #2
Deconstruction is, for most of us at least, a developmental and spiritual growth imperative. It's like breathing - a near-autonomic experience that's both in and out of our control. Unfortunately, many deconstructionists come from contexts where the task is not only feared, but actively persecuted against. Many of us can never go back.
Know this: if you're honestly and humbly deconstructing, you're doing it right.
Deconstruction Reflection #1
Years ago, as an evangelical, whenever I saw someone question or deconstruct their faith I would simultaneously judge and lament that person's fall from grace (as though their salvation depended on not asking questions). Today, as I reflect on my own deconstruction, I realize that I couldn't have been more wrong.
Deconstruction isn't a fall FROM grace, it's a falling INTO grace.
Tonight, the big ask. She knows it's coming, but hasn't seen the ring. I'm only sorta nervous, but nevertheless filled with anticipation.
The ring is custom made, just for her/us. It's loaded with meaning more than stones. In fact, it has a name. The artisan called it, "Cherry Blossoms as a bounty of Gentle Love"
It's 0500hrs and I can't sleep. Instead. I'm processing/deconstructing my youth in the church when this just hit me...
That the visions given to me by the church of how personal. professional and spiritual success are supposed to look. were/are wrong. It's time I established a new relationship with success by discarding the concept altogether. It. like so much else in our lives. is just another metric by which I and others measure my worth.
Well... 🤬 that! - 1/1
Right now... I'm laying in a field watching clouds and it strikes me that my constantly trying to "see" something in the cloud isn't actually me seeing the cloud as itself, it's me seeing myself in the occasion of the cloud. It's reflex. I can't help but pattern-match every thing all the time, and I wonder how much of "Sven" I mistake for you in everyday life.
Oh, how I long to see things as they truly are!
Personal reflections on becoming mature:
- Welcome all change with equanimity, esp. if it's difficult.
- Vigorously pursue cultural diversity and inclusion. The further afield from my comfort zone, the better.
- Spend less time online or consuming entertainment and more time meditating.
- Stop convincing myself I don't need therapy.
- Change my relationship with my body, eat slower and have more sex. 😉
- Recognize that my religion is more culture & myth than faith and truth.
Last week I attended my first indigenous smudge and pipe ceremony. The experience was transformative and I'm sorry that I ever feared/judged indigenous spirituality in my Evangelical past. Truly, it was an honour and a privilege to be invited as a Settler to participate in the tradition and ceremony that for generations stewarded the land which I now call home.
Just had the best conversation with my boss over an annoying, high-scale issue facing 600+ instructors and thousands of students...
ME: "So, if we solve it this way then I have to deal with X, but if we solve it that way, then I'm faced with Y. Either way, I'm shovelling shit."
BOSS: "Well, tell ya what. Let me know which shit you'd like to shovel and I'll get you a pile of it."
😂 😂 😂
It's 4:30am and we're waking up early to catch a flight. She snuggles close and says, "I love you."
I snuggle back, "I love you too." A moment passes and I add, "We really do wish we could just collapse into physical union don't we?"
She squeezes me tight and sighs, "Yeeeeaaahhh" then she adds with a smile, "Everything except your farts."
"Hey babe... Everything Belongs."
Thank you Richard Rohr.
Hey gang! Notes from this week's conference are finally ready. Feel free to rummage to your heart's content and don't hesitate to let me know if you have any questions.
FYI - I'll probably only leave them up for a few weeks or so, so if you're interested, make sure to grab them sooner rather than later!
- 1961: 15% of grades were A's. 2008: 45% grades were A's.
- same reading, test and task does not equal same learning
- Lewin's Equation: B=f(P, E). Behavior is a function of people and environment.
- Students come to us preconditioned to value grades over learning.
- Deep learning and mastery foster intrinsic motivation.
- "Final Celebration of Learning" instead of Final Exam.
- Easy to implement Gamified Learning: badges, points, leaderboard, achievements, competition.
So. Some notes from today. Don't worry, I'll make a more complete version available over the weekend (there's still tomorrow!).
- There's a difference between experience and experiential. That difference is reflection.
- Reflection happens automatically. By fostering it as a skill, we intentionalize it.
5/INTJ in Winnipeg (Canada)
Contemplative | Academic | Technologist
Adventurer | Dogs
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