Been a worship leader (unpaid) in my church for years, on the team for 14 years. Went to my friend the worship pastor and revealed all my doubts and heart, decided on an exit plan end of April. Senior pastor wanted to meet with me, I was honest and open, and at the end of the meeting was asked if I would resign effective now (after Thursday rehearsal, before Sunday). This was part of my life for a long time. No freedom to doubt, at least not from the stage :(

@thebamman Ryan - very sorry to hear you've had this incredibly negative experience, but it sounds like you've been preparing yourself for it, at least as much as you can. You have taken a big step - it will be honored, but I know it feels very shitty right now. Know that you are not the first person down this path - blessings and peace to you at this point in the journey!

@thebamman not sure how engrained you are in that community, but do know there are other spiritual places that would welcome a doubter/skeptic on stage and even lead songs. If you still want that, I hope you find it.

@joedavis4 thank you! We are pretty engrained after this long, but I think this will reveal some things about our church community in how this narrative comes out in the congregational setting.

@thebamman be proud of yourself for speaking up for what you believe in, regardless of the consequences. well done.

@thebamman I'm sorry that happened to you. We also just had to step down from worship team, and still feeling sad about it 😢

@thebamman Welcome to the Christian diaspora. It's a big beautiful world out there. Congratulations on jumping from the aquarium to the ocean.

@thebamman oh goodness. I’m so sorry there is no space for your authentic self. That’s really painful. I hope you can find belonging that is true. 💕

@thebamman I'm sorry that they considered you a liability rather than to try to work and wrestle alongside you with while you deal with doubts and questions. :/

I personally believe you did the right thing (been there, done that). Which doesn't make it any less painful.

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