Sometimes I feel like my job is to be the physical embodiment of my students' problem solving skills.

Dear Universe,
Is getting to know what the hell is going on just too much to ask now?

reference to 504 plans 

Finally get 504 plans 4 days after school starts
Sees student should sit near the teacher
Checks seating chart
Student is seated on opposite side of the room
Me: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuu

At my nephew's 1st birthday
Me: Oh! The sprinkles are shaped like ones!
My Sister-in-law: Yeah! Didn't have quite enough though so I mixed in some sprinkles from Alyssa's bachelorette party, so...some of those might not actually be ones.

Quotation of the day:
"You hear all the people laughing, but you can't hear all the people nodding." - My co-worker

Quotation of the Day:
"Every tool can be a weapon if you hold it right" - guy giving our professional development seminar on trauma informed teaching

Got laughed at during a professional development seminar today when I suggested "lazy" kids might be conserving their energy for something else. Having a friend tell me she was proud of me for speaking up afterward was nice though, even if it didn't quite take all the sting out of it.

Being collectively traumatized is a new feeling for me. I'm so used to trauma being this very personal thing. But sharing a near death experience with five other people...we're all weirdly bonded now and I don't really know what to do or think or whatever.

Stupid hill I'm apparently willing to die on: The Goldfish by Henri Matisse is subjectively terrible.

So, my building doesn't have recycling so I've been saving my plastics to take to my parents, since they do. I have not, in the meantime, kept said plastics in an orderly fashion. So, I'm surveying my apartment picking up bottles and my god I swear they are spawning while my back is turned.

If my upstairs neighbor must learn an instrument...gentle acoustic guitar is one I can comfortably live with.

HRL :asexual_sparkle_heart: boosted

You know you're doing something right when the language prescriptivists accuse you of destroying the language

self deprecation 

Me: *starting to track health related habits and symptoms*
Me: Okay, can I go back to only having a vague idea of how sad my life is instead of being able to back it up with precise data?


Knowing you're going to break down and get take-out, but you don't want to just yet so you awkwardly have the menu pulled up on your phone but don't do anything with it.

Turns out having three oatmeal creme pies for a meal is the kind of mistake that can't be undone and you must simply ride out the consequences.

Just realized a throw-away joke in my novel about a tiger documentary is actually symbolism and possibly foreshadowing.
I love it when I'm accidentally genius.

falacious but funny 

I'm just saying, maybe if evangelicals had read Harry Potter, they'd be better at recognizing facism.

watch out world, someone actually took her meds today.

I don't have the energy to be scared all the time, nor do I have the energy to be sad all the time. This results in often getting smacked with these emotions when I'm just trying to talk myself into being productive.

For years I have had a novel in the works but with one plot element just being "and then they break in somehow" and finally, FINALLY figured out how they do it. I'm super pumped!

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